Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
