yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
