:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
