so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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