She's JV to your varsity
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
