Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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