not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
