just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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