Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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