We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
