Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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