You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
