No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
