you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
