Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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