they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
