i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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