I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
