this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize