I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
