Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This house was built for laser tag.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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