I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
