I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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