We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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