Got a toothbrush?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
