Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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