Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize