apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
