I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
