This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
