I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
