we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
