I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
