so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A+ Viking dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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