Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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