You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
