What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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