after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We got so high we made milksteak
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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