So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
