O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
