Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
