Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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