I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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