he wants to bone in the snuggie
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
