I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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