it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
