found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
