too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
