nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
