So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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