I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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