Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
