my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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