That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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