Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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