Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why is your signature on my underwear?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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