he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
