we're blogging at a bar
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
