I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
