proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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