hell yes lets make some ravioli
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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