Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
