So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
