I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize