Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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