I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He passed out mid-signature
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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